No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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