It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
