When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We have so much sex to catch up on
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You ruined the universe
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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