Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
