They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
