I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
