Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
