dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
