i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
