What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
