Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
