You made me cry and you don't even care
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
