look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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