mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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