i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is wine microwaveable?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
