Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
