pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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