apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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