She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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