Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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