Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
