i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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