So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
