do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
