At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
