He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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