how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Randomize
