If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
