i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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