Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
