He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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