After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
