I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
