So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
