Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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