well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize