woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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