I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
