she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
