are you still at the devil's house?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
