It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
