There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
