As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
