So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
