I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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