I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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