Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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