____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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