Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
