I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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