He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
