Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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