erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I supernannyed him into submission
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
