I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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