Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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