11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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