Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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