I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
