The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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