Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
