You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
