Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
