; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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