We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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