I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
