Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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