I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
