They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
