There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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